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ramblings of a girl
who's officially free. =)
Created on 2005-02-21 10:45:30 (#6207947), last updated 2009-11-10
4 comments received, 11 comments posted
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149 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 5 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 5 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Helena |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1988-11-12 |
BioWOW, okay so the following summary came from ages ago and i swear i'm not as lovesick as i was back then. However, for sentimental reasons, I'm keeping this up HAHAHA:
The purpose of this journal (my fourth blogsite,to date) is to record my innermost feelings and how I feel about everybody (that is,everybody who knows me in real life) without letting anybody (especially them) know. It's so hard to release my feelings in my other blogs,because everyone knows about them. I can't be myself. That's why i created another journal.
I initially started this journal to record my troubles concercing certain turbulent friendships in high school. But now, I am a college student, and my troubles have taken a totally different turn.
After crushing for heavens knows how long on Romeo Capulet (yes, a codename for a boy that to this day i still do NOT understand why I ever became infatuated with), I fully recovered and remained crush-free for perhaps a little more than a year.
But lo, and behold, I now find my thoughts filled with HE-WHO-SHALL-NEVER-BE-NAMED. It's funny because I denied and fought against feeling anything for this guy. I mentally slapped myself each time I even tried imagining something ever being between us. I conditioned my mind to not think of him that way.
But I couldn't help myself. I don't know how the hell it happened, but it did. I like him. So, so, soooo very much. And I can't help but hope and wish that he's actually the one. At the same time, however, I know I need to not take this current crush of mine completely seriously. I don't want to get hurt when he reveals to me he's in love with someone else. I don't want to get my hopes too high.
So this journal records all my private thoughts and struggles concerning him. I want him, want to hold him, yet despise him for making me feel this way. He's occupies my thoughts day and night. I want it to stop, but I can't stop. And I know that if I don't stop soon, I'm setting myself up for a possible heartbreak.
<3
The purpose of this journal (my fourth blogsite,to date) is to record my innermost feelings and how I feel about everybody (that is,everybody who knows me in real life) without letting anybody (especially them) know. It's so hard to release my feelings in my other blogs,because everyone knows about them. I can't be myself. That's why i created another journal.
I initially started this journal to record my troubles concercing certain turbulent friendships in high school. But now, I am a college student, and my troubles have taken a totally different turn.
After crushing for heavens knows how long on Romeo Capulet (yes, a codename for a boy that to this day i still do NOT understand why I ever became infatuated with), I fully recovered and remained crush-free for perhaps a little more than a year.
But lo, and behold, I now find my thoughts filled with HE-WHO-SHALL-NEVER-BE-NAMED. It's funny because I denied and fought against feeling anything for this guy. I mentally slapped myself each time I even tried imagining something ever being between us. I conditioned my mind to not think of him that way.
But I couldn't help myself. I don't know how the hell it happened, but it did. I like him. So, so, soooo very much. And I can't help but hope and wish that he's actually the one. At the same time, however, I know I need to not take this current crush of mine completely seriously. I don't want to get hurt when he reveals to me he's in love with someone else. I don't want to get my hopes too high.
So this journal records all my private thoughts and struggles concerning him. I want him, want to hold him, yet despise him for making me feel this way. He's occupies my thoughts day and night. I want it to stop, but I can't stop. And I know that if I don't stop soon, I'm setting myself up for a possible heartbreak.
<3
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